We all have lows in our life! Ninth and tenth grade were 2 year-long lows for me.
When I look back on my life, there are a number of very large regrets and then one tiny regret that, for whatever reason has been bothering me for 13 years. Yes, I was five years old when this happened.
As a small child, I was extremely attentive to rules. If a teacher merely whispered to me to do something, I would instantly cry. I think I've come a long way since then.
In Kindergarten, one of our strict rules was no touching (no hugging, pushing, slapping, kissing, etc.) One day, one my close friends kissed me on the cheek, a adorable gesture that my friends and i now do daily. I distintcly remember thinking it was very sweet of her to give me a kiss, and then telling her, "Sorry Madison, but I've got to tell Ms. Shwartz! It's the rules!"
Despite Madison's desperate cries, I toddled up to my teacher, taddling that Madison had kissed me on the cheek, and she got a Talking-To.
Madison moved to Illionois a week later. Was it because of me? Probably. It probably was.
Most of my friends are absolute nerds. To be honest, I think this is partially why they are so sweet! They love comic books, video games, anime, and Star Wars. My only true comic book experience was the Archie comics way back in the day. Video games? I do LOVE Just Dance!
Despite this, we get along very well. Most of us are HUGE theatre fans, love Harry Potter, and have similar values. One things we all loooove...Halla-freakin-ween!
Make fun of me all you want: A seventeen year old just itching to dress up! But listen, as a theatre-enthusiastic, us actors are basically just older kids playing dress up! I've gotten to wear a warthog nose and tusks, police uniform, fairy wings. I've gone onstage with no shoes, high heels, and all else inbetween! The best part of Halloween though, is that you get to CHOOSE what you wear. I'm a diva so I have been known to complain my butt off about costumes. Oy vey Talya!
So naturally, now that it's August, we all know what we're doing (drum roll please)...Harry Potter! I'm gonna be Luna Lovegood and if you don'th ink I'm seriously going to wear tiny radishes taped to my ears, you are crazy!
pSadly not many people know what movie Best in Show is. Then again, many people are voting for Trump so I guess there's a spectrum of disappointment!
Best in Show is the most hilarious movie ever made with an all-star cast destined for Saturday Night Live. It's about dogs! It has Jennifer Coolidge and her plumoalicous lips! Adults in braces! Basically my favorite things all perfectly snapped into one FUUUUnNy movie!
In honor of such a beauty, I'm gonna match each cast member to what type of dog they would be!
Eugene Levy: An adorable Pug!
Jennifer Coolidge: Maltese-Pomeranian mix!
Parker Posey: Pointer! because she is just the cutest and scarily energetic
Fred Willard: Boston terrier! because he's got that Poised-and-Polish-by-Day look and Party-Hardy-By-Night look
John Michael Higgins: King Charles Spaniel because he so well groomed you wanna sleep on his earlobes
Jane Lynch: A yellow lab! but strictly a puppy
Catherine O'Hara: A pile of Shih Tzus! Im not talking one, don't give me two! A PILE!!
Michael Hitchcock: A tiny, adorable yorkshire terrier! He seems like a lap sitter (in a good way)
Harlan Pepper: I think Best in Show nailed it with the Blood Hound, BUT I don't want to be a copy cat so I'm going to say a goofy boxer mixed in with a sneaky-like Beagle!
Do I look like I can't successfully watch a group of twenty toddlers/babies while wiping dripping saliva off of walls, restocking books, and protecting my face from raining crayons? DO I? Because clearly the kids don;t think so!
This summer I am volunteering to watch the cute youngsters as they play on an interactive art exhibition. While the parents are sympathetic to me and the lirbarians downright doubtful, the kids could not make it any plainer that they think I am severely unqualified for the job. they know I can't yell at them so everytime I place the red rocking chair back in the front, some kid immediately drags it to the back of the room. I finally pick up all the crayons and a gaggle of two year olds toss them in the air. It's like an organized time bomb.
I think it's because I dress like them. The other day I enthusiastically pointed out to a small three year old girl that we were overall twins. She frowned and fluttered off. Ouch
At ASA, classes continue a fair week and a half after you finish uyour academic finals. this is for the legendary showcase: Where students put on a grueling two hour show that to display the actual talent ASA has. Like most everything, the music and dance department do wondrously and the theatre department chooses to do something overtly abstract and confusing, tehrefore confusing the audience.
I dearly hope no one from faculty sees this.
Two years ago we performed a show called The Caucasian Chalk Circle. To give you a fair idea of how that went, my friend's mom texted him halfway through the show saying, "You know i love you because i'm still here." i think she actuyally left not long after that.
The thing that drives me absolutely crazy is that we have such brilliant actors! REALLY! WE DO! And we actually put on hilarious, witty, and thoughtful shows! Yet, for some reason, ASA has this odd refusal to show the parents any of the good stuff we do. It's probably some weird childhood trauma thing.
Anywho, this year I actually had a fantastic time acting in a piece written by two of my fabulously well dressed friends. I got my showcase dream role! Basically the piece is about three different star gazers: One who romantices the stars, one who went through hard times and looks to the stars, and one weirdo girl who is like, "ALIENS ARE COMING!" Guess which one i am!
Once in a while, when in class, I will go up to a friend, thrown up my leg, and say, "Catch my leg!" Usually they catch it. NOw this may seem hardly legendary, but let me tell you, dear friends, oh contrair...
Betsy and Gigi are two of the most adorable seventh graders. They are insanely energetic, perky, and bubbly. More tahn anything, I am always impressed at how willing they are to talk to absolutely everyone and how hilariuosly honest they can be. I don't remember when or how I got to be so close to these cute kids but I am certainly glad I am.
One day, the theatre department was gathered to meet a local artist and from somewhere in the room I hear a chorus of, "Catch my leg!" not seconds after I had shoute dthat myself. Sure enough, when I look around, I see Steffi and Gigi following my lead.
Am I proud? Yes, yes i am!
i am sure I have mentioned this before but my childhood was mainly composed of me wanting dearly for people to call me Macadamia nut. I ceremoniously created the Nut Club in second grade, where a group of desperately pathetic elementary school kids got together during lunch to do absolutely nothing related to nuts. Even so, we all picked ourselves a nickname (a nut.) There was cashew, pecan (pronounced all funky), and even a brazilian nut from my actual Brazilian friend.
Naturally I chose macadamia! What a fun name! But no matter how I pushed and prodded, my friends (my supposed friends) would insist on calling me Peanut, an admittedly cute name. but Macadamia! That was the sort of Nut Name that countries were built off of! And here I was, a cartoon character-baseball-inspired-pre-pb&j mess.
comedian stand-up comedian saturday night live
only my mother would sacrifice her Mother's day to drive me all the way to California, a long six hour drive of chewing gum and comfy pants. When I am in the car, however, it can be assumed that a fair four stops will be needed so I can pee, even if I do not take the tiniest sip all ride long.
My mom and I absolutely love listening to audio books, even when we are driving from school to home. We most recently listened to Andy Cohen's hilarious autobiography, soaking in his sweet Jewishness and relating to all the mom jokes. But to go to California, we stuck with a true true classic: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Loaded with all four books, we took off ambitiously, especially considering I got through seven eighths of one book and my mom got through one and a half books (I fell asleep pretty quickly on the way back home.)
The last time I read or listened to these books, I am fairly sure I was still a wee middle schooler. But now, many years later, it is bizarre to listen to the tragic, scandalous, and all in all incredibly interesting stories of four fictional fifteen year olds who are YOUNGER than me. Fifteen! Fifteen is a baby!
I remember listening to (SPOILERS) how the girls would sneak out in the very middle of the night, meet heroically hunky guys, and take buses alone from city to city without even teling their parents. I always innocently thought to myself: Sure one day I will live that fun teenage life! Nope. Not at all.
what an adult!
i spend a truthfully sad amount of time in the library, especially during the summer time while other 17 year olds are out partying. I recently finished writing my very first children's novel, Fig: A Towering Ville Conundrum, which I estimated would take me three to four months to write and, in reality, took me a tiny bit over a year. My book is very short and very elementary, yet after putting so much time into it, and becoming somewhat obsessed, it seemed futile to rush.
So, consequently, my brother would once in a while drop me off at the library for a good three or four hours. Admittedly, much of my time there was not solely dedicated to writing, but to organizing my book illustrations, immaturely imagining being a published writer, admiring shelves upon shelves of books, and, of course, my all time favorite -- talking to the wonderful librarians.
One librarian was always especially helpful and a notably enthusiastic woman. It is incredible the difference one person's smile can make to my day, but I vividly remember walking into the library and leaving with ten times more pep in my step. She unfortunately passed away last week.
This tragedy, however, has reminded me of the importance of community. There are so many small parts of my day that I normally take for granted, just like her warm hellos. Best of all was the sense of togetherness that she brought to a little library. Although I dream of living in a big city, I have always adored the sense of walking into a store or shop and knowing the people who work there. When I go grocery shopping at Albertsons, it takes my mom and I ten times longer than a few years ago because we have created so many relationships with the people there.
While I am still very sad about her death, it has reminded me of the importance of taking the extra minute in life to say hi to someone and ask how they are doing. I could easily march into the library, check out my books, and leave and though that is fine (and often necessary on a time crunch), when I do have the time, it is an opportunity to meet people like her: Bubbly, dedicated, and warm.